Saturday, December 26, 2009

The Ashes Of Christmas

So its over for another year, and oh my how joyful can this time be. I mean I get asked over and over again why I didn't get any presents or why I spent it on my own. Christmas is not a time for me to think of wanting anything, for me all I can want is for those i care for and love to be happy. As for the being alone, am used to it and I know its likely to continue as time goes on.

My Twitter family has certainly grown and am grateful for each and everyone of you that follows and talks to me. I sit in my hotel room for the last night and they as usual are making me smile, and huge huge huge hugs are offered for all the smile the give to me.

Now am thinking of updating a few pictures of myself and lowering the numbers of the ones that are out there. Will upload a picture post later to see how that sounds and looks by you guys.

On my last post a comment was left for me and can I say that am adoring the sender.


Well for the moment its all that's running in my mind.

Seany xxx

Monday, December 21, 2009

Christmas is coming and am hotel bound!!

So its now 4 days to go till the big event. What big event I hear you cry, well Christmas Day and it looks set to be yet another busy busy day for all, well mostly all. I thought I would share my Christmas plans with you all to see if you approve.

Firstly, namely so I can get by it quickly, yes I will be on my own for Christmas. Please do not feel bad or sorry for me, its how I am every year so its all good.

Secondly, and this will be the fun one although am sure a few will go erm problem there, I will be staying here. I thought I needed to get my ass outside of these four walls and be able to relax under my own steam. Wonder how my breakfasts will go down.

As for Christmas dinner well am thinking splash out on room service and get a bottle of wine in, whose joining me then.


I don't envy those of you who will be with your families at all. I love my mother, sister and brother to bits and wouldn't change them for the world, but I just don't feel part of the family any more and as such don't join in holiday festivities like this.

Earlier I posted a tweet on twitter about being emotional and think it deserves explaining. I am sad for the family part of me that does on occasion want to be with them but then I recall why that can not be so and I resign myself to that knowledge. The other issue revolves around the fact that I have been on my own,single wise, for 2 years now and boy do I scream that out loud.

I know at times it really should not bother me but it now seems that when others around me who act worse than I do they end up like a walking phone book yet I get no where.


I would sing praises of someone I cared for that much and there are those i could name that I would call close to me and a few who if they tried could get a lot more, hmmm decisions.


Well more from my crazy head to follow,


Sean xxxx

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Anger – Rage – And A Helping Hand

Its not often that I get so mad that the smile drops from my face. A few nights ago a good friend of mine and I were chatting through twitter in our usual fun manner when he came across this video online. Its from a series done by a Rachel Maddow. Now I am all for freedom of speech all over the world but yet what this Richard Cohen and his “group” offer is apparently a helping hand to turn yourself straight if your homosexual.

Now he does raise some good points on the nature versus nurture quandary however one thing really fuelled a rage within me about it. Throughout the interview Rachel quotes passages from his own books to him. One such quote stands around the race card at when he mentions the factors that could lead to homosexuality and he states race but couldn't say why he was saying that. Another was his so called quotes on what homosexuals are more likely to be.

I have a great deal of friends with children and none of them as decent upstanding parents would knowingly leave their children with someone that they feel is a risk to their offspring, the so called parental nature would kick in.

Everyone on this planet deserves and has the right to live and be as they want to but this should not come nor should it impact on any others. We all need to start trying to get along.

I left a comment on the page showing about how this kind of material not just in the field of the LGBT community but across the board in all areas where there are hate crimes.

In my opinion the children of our up and coming generations should be helped to increase he levels of tolerance and acceptance.

I task the world with not turning itself into a place of hatred and anger but lets return to the thoughts and understanding of yesterday with an understanding of the danger we make for ourselves.


Sean xx

Sunday, December 06, 2009

Sunday 6th December – Couldn’t Think Of A Better Title

Well its certainly been a strange weekend. As most of you who follow me on twitter will know on Friday i had a fun Pizza Hut dinner with a mate and boy was that a laugh. The pizza was no where near finished and he does like cheese that man, no pun intended. Some of you may have even seen a certain picture that was taken of me. Firstly am not the guy at the back don't have gray hair. It was a good night and he is a good mate, just don't tell him I said that as he will get a big head.

As you will certainly notice the blog has been changing its image the last few day repeatedly, am thinking with this one we maybe onto a keeper, what do you folks think?

The links section has now been updated with the blogs of some fellows from twitter and believe as I find more of them that have them they will be added. The two new listings belong to Antony and Johnny i have been having a read of their posting and believe me they are thoughtful and insightful souls. Well worth loads of hugs. Now as I promised I am mentioning the stunning soul that introduced me to their pages, Stuart. He is a nice guy and actually has his own blog to. You guys are so recommended to have a read.

Twitter has certainly helped me grow more as a person I think and with the current list of followers on there sitting at a huge 516. Will need to start making sure that I tweet at a respectable times and intervals.


Maybe not.

Well as you lot are amazing I do hope that you enjoy reading and make sure you tweet or comment or will spank you.

Sean xx

Friday, December 04, 2009

Brave New World

Well I thought it long over due time for a new post. Am sitting here in a FANTASTIC hotel room on my own. Now i really know the meaning of the saying hard done to, with the exception of being in major poverty or in a war torn country.

The sexy folk on twitter are as usual making me smile and wanting to hug them. I made a few mistakes this week and boy is poor Seany paying for these errors in judgement now.

I would like to personally lay an olive branch to MylifeinwordUK . With all that's going on honey my thoughts as always are with you and I am here if you ever need me to be. I hope the phone call you made doesn’t turn out to be a worse move honey.

As some of you may know this week saw the sign up by a lot of tweeters to a new Q & A site call Formspring . I also joined and so far have been asked some rather dubious questions seeing as you can hide behind the anonymous selection when posting. You can see my page at Queerbunni .

I hope that eventually my heart will gain some love to be both given and recieved.


Signing off for another week or so.


Sean xxx

Saturday, November 28, 2009

A Choice Made – Slightly Regretted


So ever come to that moment when you care for someone so much that you don't want to hurt either them or you. Tonight i took a risk and well although i know it never paid off i do know that in the end up for all parties concerned its for the best i think.

I did try and speak to you, to get your opinion or your thoughts but am not going to try and force you, you have been through too much. I cant help but think that you avoided and sidestepped what i was saying and asking. I apologised none the less but it still got me no where, and i ended up feeling as if all i had to say was purely i will go as i know you don't want me around. I just hope you get to do all you wanted and are happy with all that you do.


Queerlad xx

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

When Things Are Good!

So its been a while since i posted. Well ok not as long as used to be but hey i love you all.

Well how are you all, hope this post finds you all charmingly well. Today (Tuesday the 27th of October 2009) I happened to tweet a nice charming lad on twitter who suffers from a condition similar to mine. Jason on twitter has suffered with Crohns for a long time now, and been diagnosed a lot longer than i have, Jason i am in awe of you and hope i can do more for the cause of awareness and helping with others with these illnesses.

Over the years i have taken on many roles in many places, and no one make any jokes about the bed room. Come rain, hail or shine i have to admit i like to help out where i can. On Saturday night i helped a friend of mine with her computer and i have to say am glad i did. Before the only contact we majorly had was at work but now i have to say would gladly say that she is a friend and would hope that she is ok and i can help her where i can.

This fun morning i have sat on twitter and yes i had missing few hours, those were fun. I would certainly say that it has been entertaining and again you guys are amazing. I sit here missing a certain someone but begin thinking i may be sounding a tad like a infatuated little puppy and not giving up. I would like to say that yes i do care deeply for you and would like for nothing more than to be with you but I am not looking to hurt you or cause you any pain nor would i like to think i was letting anyone hurt you either.

This leads me nicely on to the website, i know mentioned oh so many times before but in this case am now forcing my back side to do some work and get it sorted. So you guys here is what i plan to do, get loads of ideas from you about what you want to see and what parts you guys are willing to aid and abet with. Anything and everything is fair come, with the limits of the law in both your and my own country.


At that i will bid you all a fond farewell and hope that you are all being good.


Sexy kisses


Queerlad xxx

Thursday, October 15, 2009

An Update

Ok so lets see what should i tell you all.

Well Seany be my name (Sean without the y). Loads been happening as you can see from my last few blogs, some of which are songs that where used to show how i feel at the time.

Over the last few months its been eventful.

To start with am still in the same job so that's uneventful i know but the moves their making are annoying the hell out of me now. From shift changes to team changes and now floor moves its all abuzz with no clear structure.

Home is much more interesting. I am now the proud owner of a Cineworld unlimited card, £13.50 a month am not likely to be in London’s West End often so the additional £3 was not worth it. So far I have been to see, 500 Days of Summer and Toy Story 3D. I know, I know I’m a big kid. The next is either Zombieland or Up 3D hmmm oh the plans we make eh.

Twitter is another thing that is taking off more and more now and although I posted about it before as I write this I am now over 2,000 tweets later.

Twitter Stats:

464 Following
2,827 Tweets

Ignoring the Britney Specials there is a few nameable folk in there, apologies if i miss you out am slow remember:

MylifeinwordsUK – A special guy who has been mistreated something awful. More thoughtful comments could be said but i will just direct you to my other blog postings.

mairs – A charming lady with more than her fair share of oooooo’s, Want to get in on the joke tweet her on twitter and ask for the YouTube link.

MaryJJohns – One funny lady. A kindred soul who has lots of loving to give. Just don't ask her about her hubby is all. Keep it sweet.

_Chrissy_G – Frequent tweeter to me and yet i still offer kisses hmmm am so odd eh.

There are loads more and am sure i have forgotten someone but cant be great at everything.

Love Life would be the next topic but yet there is as ever little movement on this front. Well i say little other than my unbridled affection for MylifeinwordsUK that's it. The guy is a total charmer and so deserves more in life than what he has had. I would if i thought I could try and offer him up my heart and soul if i thought he would have me. I know he will eventually read this so I will go bright read early, Go me eh.

Next update will be in good time as i am getting way back into the swing of this. Podcast should be next but all in good time dear reader. Onwards and upwards i say.


And i was told baby steps. I just want to scream that I love someone yet am not wanting to scare them off. Would be more than happy to go and say things like, cuddle in honey your amazing and am so lucky to have you in my life, however those fun barriers we put up after being hurt stop both of us.


Well thats all for now next update will be soon


Take care you lot.




A Rather Large Heart 2 Heart

Its late and i probably really should be asleep and yet all i can think of is you. I cant believe the pain you have been through and am so scared of opening up and making it oh so much worse.

I want to say that:

Your oh so special to me and I just wish that you could see just how special you are to me.

I wish you where here beside me, to guide me and show me the way.

To help me see the good that's in me.

To love the sweet little way that you say my name and the lingering look i dream you would give me in the morning.


I saved the conversation that we had the night you said those magic words i longed to hear. I just hope they weren't said to just cheer me up and that its really what you feel. From all the pain you have been through and i just don't want to be felt like i should be let in and then to do something to make any of it worse.

Your the one and only guy i think of and the one and only one i want near me.

Even if you read this, I'm still scared. Terrified even.

Would love to call you my other half but whose to say that what you want. For all i could think you are just being friendly,


Well the result will come when it leaks out as all my feelings do.


Honey your so so so special, and i do believe i love you.






Saturday, September 26, 2009

What a night!!

Well tonight goes to show what the power of speech can do, You should have seen how happy my babes was. am so glad he he is getting to shine like he should. mwah mwah mwah.

Friday, September 18, 2009

The Final Heart String Pulled!!


Heres to us one more toast and then well pay the bill
Deep inside both of us can feel the autumn chill
Birds of passage, you and me
We fly instinctively
When the summers over and the dark clouds hide the sun
Neither you nor Im to blame when all is said and done


In our lives we have walked some strange and lonely treks
Slightly worn but dignified and not too old for sex
Were still striving for the sky
No taste for humble pie
Thanks for all your generous love and thanks for all the fun
Neither you nor Im to blame when all is said and done


Its so strange when youre down and lying on the floor
How you rise, shake your head, get up and ask for more
Clear-headed and open-eyed
With nothing left untried
Standing calmly at the crossroads,no desire to run
Theres no hurry any more when all is said and done


Standing calmly at the crossroads,no desire to run
Theres no hurry any more when all is said and done

Wonders If Someone Will ….

f you change your mind, Im the first in line
Honey Im still free
Take a chance on me
If you need me, let me know, gonna be around
If youve got no place to go, if youre feeling down
If youre all alone when the pretty birds have flown
Honey Im still free
Take a chance on me
Gonna do my very best and it aint no lie
If you put me to the test, if you let me try
Take a chance on me
(thats all I ask of you honey)
Take a chance on me
We can go dancing, we can go walking, as long as were together
Listen to some music, maybe just talking, get to know you better
cos you know Ive got
So much that I wanna do, when I dream Im alone with you
Its magic
You want me to leave it there, afraid of a love affair
But I think you know
That I cant let go
If you change your mind, Im the first in line
Honey Im still free
Take a chance on me
If you need me, let me know, gonna be around
If youve got no place to go, if youre feeling down
If youre all alone when the pretty birds have flown
Honey Im still free
Take a chance on me
Gonna do my very best and it aint no lie
If you put me to the test, if you let me try
Take a chance on me
(come on, give me a break will you? )
Take a chance on me
Oh you can take your time baby, Im in no hurry, know Im gonna get you
You dont wanna hurt me, baby dont worry, I aint gonna let you
Let me tell you now
My love is strong enough to last when things are rough
Its magic
You say that I waste my time but I cant get you off my mind
No I cant let go
cos I love you so
If you change your mind, Im the first in line
Honey Im still free
Take a chance on me
If you need me, let me know, gonna be around
If youve got no place to go, if youre feeling down
If youre all alone when the pretty birds have flown
Honey Im still free
Take a chance on me
Gonna do my very best, baby cant you see
Gotta put me to the test, take a chance on me
(take a chance, take a chance, take a chance on me)
Ba ba ba ba baa, ba ba ba ba baa
Honey Im still free
Take a chance on me
Gonna do my very best, baby cant you see
Gotta put me to the test, take a chance on me
(take a chance, take a chance, take a chance on me)
Ba ba ba ba baa, ba ba ba ba baa ba-ba
Honey Im still free
Take a chance on me

The Winner Doesnt Take It All !!!

I dont wanna talk
About the things weve gone through
Though its hurting me
Now its history
Ive played all my cards
And thats what youve done too
Nothing more to say
No more ace to play
The winner takes it all
The loser standing small
Beside the victory
Thats her destiny
I was in your arms
Thinking I belonged there
I figured it made sense
Building me a fence
Building me a home
Thinking Id be strong there
But I was a fool
Playing by the rules
The gods may throw a dice
Their minds as cold as ice
And someone way down here
Loses someone dear
The winner takes it all
The loser has to fall
Its simple and its plain
Why should I complain.
But tell me does she kiss
Like I used to kiss you?
Does it feel the same
When she calls your name?
Somewhere deep inside
You must know I miss you
But what can I say
Rules must be obeyed
The judges will decide
The likes of me abide
Spectators of the show
Always staying low
The game is on again
A lover or a friend
A big thing or a small
The winner takes it all
I dont wanna talk
If it makes you feel sad
And I understand
Youve come to shake my hand
I apologize
If it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense
No self-confidence
But you see
The winner takes it all
The winner takes it all......

State of affairs

Hmm so what do you do when your scared to even talk and tell someone all the nice kind things you want to. I wish you were here for me to pull close and that you feel save and know that your cared and wanted for.


I have no idea what words to use or why i cant say this to you. What do i do?




I want to close my heart and bit want any pain but its with me in abondance.


Sunday, September 13, 2009

Homo Is Back and may i Say he LIKES SOMEONE

Howdy readers i missed you all and am sorry for not getting back to you sooner. Now as you can tell things from my earlier post have moved on and wee me is now interested in someone, and well its a rough road for it but i hope it will have a happier ending than what i normally get.


Twitter love for me is now in full swing and so far i have sang, kissed, and spanked some on it. You know who you are. want to follow me on it

and see what's a happening in almost real time.


Sometimes i wish that i could freeze the picture.

And save it from the funny drifts of time.

Slipping through my fingers.


And to the guy i like, he knows who he is. Am here when you need me. I promise you that.



Friday, May 15, 2009

And What Do You Do?

So you start talking to someone. It goes really well and you appear to be getting along. Then you find out something that rocks your boat and have no idea how to steady it again. To let people in is a big deal but to process some odd information is really a strange issue.

Over the years I have left myself open to and choosing a path that is hard up and long in the tooth for ever working out.

In this day and age we connect and work with those that we seem to be connected to and can work from. In recent times i have met such a person and i have to date no idea what i am supposed to do. Growing up is nothing like the way it is described to you as when your a kid.

Your pushed to pick lessons and find dreams to take you forward as if tats all your ever going to be interested in. The only thing that is never taken in to account is the heart itself,

Throughout history its well documented that people have made a lot of wrong choices based on what the feel and their heart. I however do not appear to learn form my own mistakes. There is a guy that i like who is at the moment is unobtainable and reachable by me. I only hope that one day this will help me work past me doing this.  

To those that are lying in the same sediment of creations remember this. The one thing that we revolve around on this is that we always believe that we are alone. We are not and there is a sizeable area of us and that we can help each other out. 

My apologies to the people who are unhappy that I have wrote this. But it is just my own feelings and emotions.


Queerlad xx

Monday, May 04, 2009

Welcome Back TO MEEEEE!!

So my fellow blog readers. And welcome back to me. It has been a while, a little over a year apprently and its time I started to keep up to date with my obligations. So here we go and welcome to the world.


And by the way if you have a chance to see any comedian then make sure you find a way to see the one and only

David Gorman

The guy although a comical genius does have a few twirks* that he has that make him a comical and funny man

And please do leave him a comment about his site or the page. BUT IF YOU SEE THE GOOGLEWACK show then you will know what you shouldn't mention.


Good Luck to you all.


*TWIRKS – A mixture of quirks and tweaks and quirks.